A special Easter edition of Flash Fiction Friday!
“Atten’shun!” came the cry, and all one hundred of the rabbits in the field stood up straight and sharp, forming four lines and making sure that the also formed a perfect square. Another rabbit, a large grey with a black beret on his head that had a patch with a pastel yellow egg on it with a red omega symbol, walked up and down, eyeballing them.
“Floppy, get those ears up straight! God damnit, son, you think this is funny?” he shouted into the face of one bunny, causing the younger animal to jump slightly before straightening up and pointing his ears to the sky.
The rabbit with the beret growled and then walked to the front of the group.
“You are the sorriest lot of Easter Bunnies I have ever been saddled with training,” he said. “But they don’t give me enough time to take maggots like you and turn you into real rabbits before I gotta send you out into the field. So, I guess you’ll have to do.”
He sighed and shook his head.
“All right, listen up! This weekend is the real deal, sweethearts. No more training. No more mistakes. You go out there, and you’re each on your own. You have to get in there, fill those baskets, hide those eggs and get out before anyone can catch you. Especially don’t let the adults see you. They’ll capture you and dissect you before you can say Peter Cottentail. You got me?”
A collective “Sir, yes, Sir!” came up from the assemblage.
“Kids are a slightly different story. We may not be as big as the jolly ol’ fat man from the North Pole, but we’re still mighty popular with the kids. One of them see’s you, you wink and smile and then get the hell out of Dodge. No one tries to be a hero, and get their name down in some kiddy book by befriending a kid. If I hear that any one of you learns the name of a single kid out there, or God forbid, you give your name to one of them, I will personally hunt you down and skin you myself. Do I make myself clear?”
The “Sir, yes, Sir!” rang out once more. The head bunny nodded approvingly.
“All right, then. Your assignments are on the billboard by the carrot patch. I EXPECT each and every one of you to make even better time Fluffy here did on the obstacle course last week. I EXPECT each and every one of you to do better than your best, and not embarrass me. I have a reputation for putting out the best Easter Bunnies in these United States, and I do not intend to have the reputation tarnished by you ladies. Are we on the same page?”
“Sir, yes, Sir!” came the chorus. Once again, he nodded his approval.
The other rabbits quickly bounded off to the carrot patch to see their assignments. He sighed. He always hated letting the recruits go into the field. He never felt like he had time to properly train them. One more week, even. But, still. Despite what he said, the same thing he always said, this group might just be the best bunch of Easter Bunnies he had ever produced.
He nodded in satisfaction and headed to the juice bar for a much needed rest..